The Life And Times Of Bikini Black Special

Well, the date is booked, and we're ready to return to the stage. We'll be performing a set of entirely new material (from Physioterrorists and the forthcoming Physioterrorists 2) and it's going to be shamelessly sexy funtimes for everyone. Joining us onstage will be the superb LETTERS TO FIESTA and the fantastic Preston Wunderkind MYSTERY TEA HOUSE. To say we're excited is an understatement. Anyway, the gig is on SATURDAY APRIL 9th at THE MAD FERRET, here in sunny P-Town. We really hope you'll come and join us - it's been a long time coming.

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You can get all the details on the Facebook event page, HERE.

We've missed you. We really have.

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The Drug That Turns You Into A Bug

2011-03-08T03:45:00.001-08:00

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Two More Tunes From Physioterrorists

2010-09-26T04:18:00.001-07:00

The first and the last! The Safety Plan, and Natural Born Troublemaker...

The Safety Plan by Bikini Black Special

Natural Born Troublemaker by Bikini Black Special

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The Bikini Method Video!

2010-09-24T08:59:00.001-07:00

So, I’ve been learning some new tricks and made a video to go with our new song The Bikini Method. I like to think of it as really hard to follow karaoke. It’s been shared a lot round the Facebook, which is a delightful turn of events, and is being generally well received by one and all, which makes us very happy, so a big thank you to everyone who has shared, retweeted, forwarded on, or just taken the time to watch it. We love you guys J

In the unlikely event that you’ve not seen it yet, then here it is for your viewing pleasure – we’d love to hear what you think, and if you like it, share it!

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Four Exclusive Preview Tracks From Physioterrorists

2010-09-12T08:21:00.001-07:00

Wow, for reals? YEP! Four tracks from the forthcoming album available right now for your listening pleasure. And we do hope they bring you joy. Feel free to leave your thoughts, and to reshare them all around the intertubes for everyone to hear. The rest of the album won’t be long behind now, and at worst we imagine it will make an ideal Christmas gift for your loved ones.

Kobra Kai is probably the synthiest track on the album, and contains all sorts of juddering, dissonant surprises.

Better Homes And Gardens – the song that inspired our forthcoming musical “Robot Baby: Robo And Juliet”. And no, we’re not kidding. It’s a real project.

The Bikini Method. A guide to life, and when not to bother with it, cause you’re an oxygen thief. Not YOU, obviously. You’re lovely.

Lone Mouse In The Reptile House – everyone gets a bit lost sometimes, and sometimes you get lost in REALLY the wrong place. The fact is, you don’t have to outrun the lizards, you just have to outrun your companions. The greatest gift a friend can give you in a dangerous situation is “being a distraction”.

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Tatty Bye, Kevline

2010-08-30T04:43:00.001-07:00

Sadly, one of our number is leaving us. Young Kevline McGraw, the man who threw moving pictures into your face at shows, is departing the BBS train to focus on other commitments. We’ll be sorry to see his bearded head bobbing away into the distance, but good luck with all your shizz, Kevin. MWAH.

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More Physioterrorist news...

2010-08-20T08:07:00.001-07:00

Progress continues apace, and we’ve put together the graphics for the album cover, here’s a couple of samples for your eyes... the outside and inside of the CD booklet:

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Phase One Complete

2010-07-29T05:28:00.001-07:00

Apart from a few odd bits of lyrics, the whole new album has been written! That’s right, 13 tracks of joy and wonder, just waiting for us to record them properly (which is of course Phase Two).

It’s been a long road to get this done, but now we’re ready to get it finished J You can expect a fair difference from Grim Maths – although it’s still the marvellous pop-electro-rock you’ve come to expect we have a more controlled sound on this one. Expect a lot of strings, obviously the pipes of lovely Lyndsey making word-sounds, and hopefully we’ll be adding a bunch of deeply erotic trumpet works from Ian, who featured on our remix of Asimov’s Laws Are Fucking Bullshit. SEXUAL.

So, I think we can safely say:

COMING SOON: BIKINI BLACK SPECIAL proudly present PHYSIOTERRORISTS, an album for anyone who’s got a broken ankle.

We’re gonna do it as a download, and maybe do a limited edition vinyl single which includes a free download of the album when you buy it. BONUS.

I’m so happy J

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Phase One Complete

2010-07-29T05:26:00.001-07:00

Apart from a few odd bits of lyrics, the whole new album has been written! That’s right, 13 tracks of joy and wonder, just waiting for us to record them properly (which is of course Phase Two).

So, I think we can safely say:

COMING SOON: BIKINI BLACK SPECIAL proudly present PHYSIOTERRORISTS, an album for anyone who’s got a broken ankle.

We’re gonna do it as a download, and maybe do a limited edition vinyl single which includes a free download of the album when you buy it. BONUS.

I’m so happy J

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Autotuned Meat Adventures

2010-07-16T06:52:00.001-07:00

Anyone who was out our one big fringe gig a couple of years ago might remember this little ditty called "Made Of Meat" that we only played at that one gig. I knocked up a new version, with masses of autotune just to get up the nose of people who hate autotune, the tool it's hip to hate. Besides, it makes sense for non-meat lifeforms to have built in autotuning, since I couldn't actually sing in binary.

The song is based on a short story by Terry Bisson, and the sample is from a short film of the short story. Anyways here it is, hope it brings a little autotuned smile to your day.

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Progress report!

2010-07-05T06:38:00.001-07:00

This is the most intensive writing we've done in ages - there are some advantages, it seems, to righteously fucking your leg up. So what new songs will we have for you on our triumphant return? WELL LOTS. So far, in the lineup for the new album, and new set that will go with it:

· Kafkaxanol

· The Bikini Method

· Kobra Kai

· Product X

· Pushing People Into Fast Moving Traffic

· Velociraptor

· The Safety Plan

· Lone Mouse In The Reptile House

· Citizen Pavlov

· They Know What I Did Last Summer

Die hard old school bikini fans may note a couple of old songs in there that have never made it to the output stage, and they’d be right, there are some tunes you never really want to let go of, and we’ve reinvented them a bit for this new album. For those who are interested in how we go about this stuff, we’ve taken a bit of an approach with this album – demoing everything as we go, and working with a sonic palette of “the sounds we can use” to reign in some of the excesses of the first album. It means all of this stuff sounds really consistent and together, which I like a lot.

Lyrically, everything is quite inspired (shockingly enough) by the accident, and the consequences of it – being trapped indoors, being stuck at the mercy of medical professionals who you find it harder to trust with extension of your sentence, and some of the songs are just odd stories that are clearly the product of being cooped up in a small space for too long.

It’s been a lot of fun getting Lyndsey more integrated into the band through doing all of this as well – having a whole bunch of new material she can stamp her own voice onto, rather than (at least in part) having to emulate those singers (and there are many) who have gone before her. For me, I feel like a new man from all this. With a new bone. And musically it feels like a reinvention, but one that knows where it came from. Maybe more of an evolution, or a growing up – though part of that actually seems to means letting rip and being a bit less serious in some of the songs.

Anyways, we still have a lot to do – there’s probably about five more songs to write to put together a body of work I’ll be happy with, and THEN we have to re-record everything properly. But based on what we have so far, I really believe it will be worth the wait, and we appreciate every last one of you sticking with us through the mishaps of late. We’re hoping to release the album as a download only, and also make a 7” vinyl single of two of the tracks, which will come with a free download code for the whole album. We’d like to hear your opinions on this plan, though – do you prefer a real CD, or do you find it really doesn’t matter to you anymore? Does a vinyl record sound special enough? I’ve always wanted to make one, so the idea appeals to me a lot – but you guys have all supported us and your opinions and ideas are always welcome.

Finally, we hope you all enjoyed the cover of Bjork’s “Hyperballad” we put out – we realised we’d not given you anything for a while, but we don’t want to spaff out our new material before it’s ready so we thought it would be a pleasant little amuse-bouche for you to put you on until dinner. We might well do another couple of those over the next few months – less polished little nuggets for you to snack on. Maybe there’s a song you’d love to hear our take on? Well let us know!

Well, this has turned into a longer blog post than we’d usually do, so I’ll knock it on the head here – oh, apart from to say PLEASE feel free to invite your facebook friends to join us on the Bikini Black Special facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/bikiniblackspecial) and hey, don’t be a stranger – we don’t bite.

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Owls And Dinosaurs

2010-06-23T02:13:00.001-07:00

Far across a distant sea
Upon the rocky shore
A tale was told of forbidden love
Between an owl and a dinosaur

They first met at a party
In the dinosaur king's house
They dined on crabs and vol-eu-vents
And the occasional passing mouse

The dinosaur, a mighty beast
Was forty three feet tall
And next to him, the tiny owl
Could barely be seen at all

And yet this strange, unlikely pair
Fell in each other's groove
From then they were inseperable
... the townsfolk disapproved

The dinosaur's friends said to him
"Love is the cruellest captor
But she's not for you, why don't you find
A nice velociraptor?"

The family of the Owl agreed
Suggesting plainly that
They wouldn't accept a dinosaur spouse
Why not find herself a pussycat?

But owl and dinosaur were not swayed
Whatever their friends said
They found a sinister minister
And demanded to be wed

The town were all invited
And the wedding was quite a sight
The left side full of dinosaurs
And owls all to the right

"Dearly beloved", the minister droned
"We're gathered here to see"
"An owl and a dinosaur joined together"
"In unlikely matrimony"

At this the crowd could take no more
They couldn't keep it quiet
Instead of a dinosaur marrying an owl
There was going to be a riot

But the dinosaur and the owl stood tall
And before the first pew was thrown
The dinosaur reached into his pocket
And retrieved a megaphone

"NOW LISTEN", he bellowed, which hushed the crowd
"There's no need to squabble and shove
There's a reason we're here and I think it's quite clear
The owl and I are in love!"

The crowd went "aww", their anger gone
Then sat down quiet and meek
And the owl flew up to the dinosaur
And pecked him on the cheek

And so that day, the wedding done
The pair were husband and wife
They'd done their bit for previously strained interspecies relations
And got on with their life

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Asimov (Slowbot), feat. Ian Burgess!

2010-04-10T13:47:00.001-07:00

We’ve been recording another of these alternative versions while Paddy mends his broken ankle, and while we’re writing a whole slew of new tunes for the new album (provisionally entitled Physioterrorists). Anyways, this is a version of Asimov’s Laws Are Fucking Bullshit (from Semi Automatic), and as a special treat we’ve employed the services of the dashing and talented Ian Burgess (formerly of Deadjim and Pterodactyls) on the trumpet. What a sexy horn he has. You can hear the track at the following link, and we’d love to get your thoughts and opinions.

www.wehaveyourmonkey.co.uk/mp3/bbs/Asimov (Slowbot Version).mp3

As a personal note, I like having this traditional, jazzy, mellow version of our only song with cusswords. It feels subversive. Oh, and thanks for bearing with us during this forced hiatus – we’ll be back in fighting form soon!

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Bikini Black And Blue Special

2010-02-28T02:55:00.001-08:00

Good works, Paddy. You broke your ankle in three places, making something altogether gruesome. Sadly, this is going to slow down the BBS Bus temporarily, though there are still many things going on, and all sorts of super surprises in the pipeline.

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Why BBS Don't Have Children

2010-02-18T08:25:00.001-08:00

If I ever have children I'm going to make it my life's work to mislead and deceive them. I want to go down in history as the man who produced the most fucked up kids the world ever saw.

I will tell them that mummy is a killbot who's death circuit is activated by the tears of children. They will learn that if they want to cry, they must always cry alone. Her arms, I will say, transform into scythes for chopping off childrens' legs and fingers, and that that's why the garden is so well fertilised - with human blood.

I will tell them that father christmas is a grey, wet man with nails for teeth and eyes like gimlets, who crawls down the chimney on sticky fingers like his limbs are broken, and who leaves presents but takes teeth in payment from one child in five with his tiny christmas hammer - and then skitters away leaving traces of smeared wet soot and a lingering odour of damp and gum disease.

I will teach them the alphabet in the wrong order, and when their teacher tries to correct the damage I have done, I will tell them that their teacher is a murderer. I will say that she knows that children are ripe for harvesting when they do the alphabet her way, and then she wraps them up in carrier bags and leaves them in her crawlspace to die of thirst.

I will tell them that stepping on cracks in the pavement gives them cancer, that chewing pencils causes their skin to become scaly and weep grease, and that eating vegetables will make their eyes swivel so they can only see their brain. I will tell them that all other children are controlled by brain parasites put in their ears by their parents under government instruction, and that I'm not going to put one in them but if the government finds out they will send people to cut them open without anaesthetic and see what makes them tick.

I will tell them that cats carry a flesh-eating plague that will make their noses fall off, before slowly demolishing their faces and spiralling them into dementia as it feasts on their brains. They will be made aware that cats try to spread this disease because they are the natural enemy of the human race, and that people who keep cats are their zombie slaves.

I will tell them that there is a race of cannibal creatures at large in the world, who love to feast on the bones of sleeping young. The cannibals sneak into bedrooms during the day and hide in mattresses, waiting for a child to fall asleep, then tear their way out to snatch with their bony, clawed fingers and sink their snaggled, uneven teeth into soft, yielding child-flesh. I will tell my children that the only way to be sure they won't fall prey to the cannibals is to stay awake as long as they can.

I will tell them all this and more. It's a good job I'm not a parent.

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Spreading The Bikini Word

2010-02-15T09:18:00.001-08:00

It’s been lovely to see a whole bunch of new folks sign up on the facebook page of late (http://www.facebook.com/bikiniblackspecial), especially since we have a whole ton of sexy new surprises in the pipeline, including video, animation, danicing and free helicopter rides for selected participants. However, we would always like to see more of the attractive denizens of this fair internetland connected up to our ongoing stream of nonsense, so we’d really appreciate it if you Facebook folks would click “Suggest to friends” and pass on our link to them. They will probably feel forever in your debt and shower you with gifts, flowers, and unexpected kissing with tongues. So don’t delay, suggest us to a friend (or ten) today!

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2010-02-14T18:01:00.001-08:00

A Bikini Black Valentine

2010-02-14T17:08:00.001-08:00

Sorry about the repost, folks, just trying to get http://www.posterous.com working right J

Anyways, this is a valentine from BBS to all of you lovely fans. A valentine for those of you with inadequate home security and accessible crawlspaces. Don’t worry, we’re here. We’ll look after you, and watch you while you sleep. All we ask is that you don’t make a fuss when we take a lock of your hair in the night, or occasionally scrawl obscenities on your bathroom mirror with stolen lipstick. And the only reason we didn’t flush is because we didn’t want to wake you up, you’re so beautiful when you sleep.

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The Singer Whisperer

2010-01-18T04:56:00.000-08:00

Well, n00b. Specifically, our new singer! That's right folks, after a gruelling set of auditions we've found the future voice of BBS, in the form of Lyndsey Wilson. Now the task of breaking her spirit begins, much as one would break a horse. Fortunately, I am the singer whisperer.

Not really. Give her three months and she'll be slipping arsenic in my tea. But on the bright side... she'll still be making the tea.

Also, we've got a few writing/recording projects still lined up with some folks from other bands, so you can expect to hear at some point collaborations with Lorraine from The Feverdreamers, Mossy from Underdogs, Danny from Mindshock and more. Exciting times!

Pissing On Promotional Chips

2009-12-10T04:42:00.000-08:00

So, there was a bunch of folks advertising for bands to play their New Year's Eve night for £50 and free beer on a local website. A discussion ensued, which I had nothing to do with, until I got annoyed enough to make an epic post on the subject. Anyway, I'm recreating it here, with some modification since the context is different.

First of all, don't put out an utterly wank flyer - if there was a band who had a singer who actually couldn't sing a note they'd get it in the neck too, and people wouldn't go and see the band. These guys sell themselves as promoters/managers, and as such I would expect them to know what a good poster/flyer looks like. I would expect them to answer questions about what qualifies them to make claims about their capabilities in the area that they are claiming expertise - just like I would expect a band to demonstrate competence in writing/playing music.

Of course, it's now fairly expected that bands should take everything that's thrown at them with good grace and for very little or nothing in return. Just because someone says this is a better deal than you'll get elsewhere, it doesn't make it a good deal. Like someone else said, consider £50, paid to a band. Let's take BBS as an example - there are five of us. We rehearse for gigs, we write material, we invest in our project. But we'll put all that to one side for now. Since it would be a local gig, we'll even class the cost of petrol as negligible.

Now, let's (egotistically) assume that BBS are headlining the gig. This means, realistically, that we'll have to turn up at 6:30 for soundcheck, and play last - let's say a half hour set starting at 11pm. That takes us from 6:30 to 11:30, and we'll be generous and throw in the takedown and loadout for free. That's 5 hours.

So far then, from £50 we have earnings for each band member of £2 per hour - ON NEW YEAR'S EVE. Without factoring in transport, food, or any other costs. It doesn't factor in the endless wear and potential damage to equipment (which we all pay handsomely for). Let's factor in the free bar - moving our gear and the band = 2 cars. So that's 2 drivers. That means 3 members of the band who can drink, and since we're headlining we have to take it easy or we'll just fall off stage. We have to loadout after the gig, which closes at 1. So three members of the band can realistically drink from 12 'til 1, unless the gig overruns, which it will. So much for the free bar.

All of this most bands would be prepared to accept all over the place. All of this bands are expected to accept all over the place. Because we should be thankful that we get to play at all, despite years of hard word and blood and sweat and tears and being in a situation that is like having a girlfriend but there are four of her and at least two of her have PMT at any given moment.

What, then, does the band get out of playing a gig? We really get paid in two ways. One, we get the chance to meet and make new fans. This is possible at established venues that folks already know about, and this is possible at venues where you can look at their advertising and say "well you know what, this might work out". Two, we get the chance to sell the merch and CDs that we have invested time, effort, and money in producing - which you can't do at a venue devoid of punters. Clearly, if you're in a band and you see the work of a venue and think there'll be no-one there there would be absolutely no reason to play that gig, would there?

So, with all this in mind, is it really unreasonable to say: well hold on a minute, you're an unproven venue, in a dodgy location, with bad advertising, making a lot of claims that you aren't backing up with hard facts?

... pause for breath ...

Promoters, on the other hand, are treated like sacred cows that shouldn't ever have a bad word said against them either as individuals or as a whole. So often I see the attitude of "well they're doing it for the music, man". Guess what - so are bands - and since music can be judged far more subjectively than promotion (one is an art, the other is a business model) then really promoters should be able to answer questions about what their business can do for bands, and back up their answers.

Don't get me wrong, there are promoters out there who do sterling work, but there are a lot more who don't, who expect bands to do all the legwork as well as providing the entertainment. There are promoters who pay bands what they can afford, and budget the whole thing properly, and who often feel bad that the market can pay bands so little. Mostly though, there are promoters who act like they are doing bands a favour, when their entire business is to exploit the market.

Obviously I'm not talking about Destiny Management exclusively here, besides my criticisms of their design work (which I think are fully justified), and my concerns about their venue (again, not unreasonable), I really haven't given them a hard time. I don't question their motives, I question their capability - and that questioning comes from observation of the visible spectrum of their business. Perhaps some testimonials from bands who've played there would help?

Sad Times

2009-11-29T05:24:00.000-08:00

Sadly, Miss Kim has decided to go and travel a different road to the rest of BBS, and so we bid her adeiu and thanks for being a part of it and making an album with us. We're glad to report she'll be playing one last gig in our merry company on the 21st December at the Mad Ferret, and hope you'll all come along to wave goodbye in style.

Obviously, though, the BBS bus keeps rolling like a badly maintained bus full of fat people on a steep hill, so we're looking for a new singer. Think you've got what it takes? Well get in touch, and we'll give you an audition. You must be able to rehearse Monday nights and Saturday afternoons, and be able to sing like a mother****er who is taking a break from ****ing their mother.

If this sounds like you, drop us a message.

Putting Both The Asses In Assassin

2009-11-12T09:25:00.000-08:00

In the case of Unit 12, there really are two asses in assassin. One is the shapely one of the lady killer at the heart of the story, on a distant rooftop with a telescopic sight and a high powered rifle to snuggle under it. The other is about to have "a cap popped in it" as they say in the ghetto. Anyways, the song is the aforementioned shapely assassin considering the relationship between her and her target. I think she might be a bit mental - but that's probably the estrogen at work.

Put me on the rooftop, patience is a virtue
I just want to kill you, I don't want to hurt you
Semtex voodoo doll needs a firing pin
Breathe in
Exhale
I don't want to know you I just want to take you out
There's no need to take it personal

We're in business you don't know it yet
And we've got targets that we have to hit
You could be my strangest client yet
Don't you worry I'll take care of it

Can you feel my fingers on your neck?
Even though I haven't touched you yet
We're as close as two people can get
Despite the fact we've never met

Put me on the rooftop, patience is a virtue
I just want to kill you, I don't want to hurt you
Semtex voodoo doll needs a firing pin
Breathe in
Exhale
I don't want to know you I just want to take you out
There's no need to take it personal

This could be a one way mirror
I am not a heartless killer

Musically, we wanted to write something with a proper big pounding public fuck of a middle section. Relentless banging, as it were. *ahem*. But it's nice to bracket that with something a bit more considered.

I'm A Frayed High Wire

2009-11-12T09:18:00.000-08:00

The second track from Semi Automatic is now available! Run as fast as you can to our Bandcamp page and grab it! It's called "Not Waving But Capsizing" and we think it's rather lovely. As ever, all of this stuff was produced by us in our palatial northern mansion, Bikini Towers, using state-of-the-art equipment and a hammer to knock out the rough edges.

Strung a turn too tight
Stretched far too thin
Gone a ways too far
Got a touch too high
All the wrong things rising
Not waving but capsizing
All is silent all is bright

I'm not made for this
I'm the crack in the wing
I'm afraid that this won't work
I'm a frayed high wire
An aeroplane falling
Not flying but stalling
All is silent all is bright

I am cells gone wild
The enemy within
I'm not well at all
I'm a spell in quarantine
Bacteria invading
Multiplying, replicating
All is silent all is bright

All the wrong things rising
Not waving but capsizing

This was an odd little song to write - it started with the little twiddly guitar part and a very peculiar drumloop, and then built from there. As for the lyrics, they weren't the usual agonising process of adjustment and refitting, and pretty much came in rush. Guess I wasn't feeling top of the world that day ha ha. The last verse I'm particularly pleased with - swine flu was big on the news, and I had a cold that I naturally assumed was cancer.

Oh, and the "frayed high wire" bit came from having just watched Man On Wire. If you haven't seen it, you should - it's... dizzying, and for me goes with the sense of vertigo we were trying to put into the music, especially with that relentless bass drone.

Anyways, hope you like it.

Semi Automatic - New EP, First Track Released!

2009-11-08T08:13:00.000-08:00

So we've released the first track from our new free EP, "Semi Automatic" - it's called Unit 12, and it's a little story about an assassin with an overactive imagination. Hope you enjoy it, feel free to pass it on to folks who like songs about assassins :)

Here's the cover for the EP:

JSP-440

2009-10-05T05:27:00.000-07:00

"The protective marking of the definitions of the BIKINI Alert States is RESTRICTED but the codewords BIKINI WHITE, BIKINI BLACK, BIKINI BLACK SPECIAL, BIKINI AMBER and BIKINI RED are not protectively marked. These codewords may be passed by telephone provided that they are not qualified in any way. Notices displaying the current Alert States are to be sited so as to minimize the likelihood of the general public seeing them. These codewords and their meanings are understood by the civil police. The codewords and their definitions are not to be communicated to the media or any other unauthorized person."

UK MoD Manual of Security Volumes 1, 2 and 3 Issue 2, JSP-440, RESTRICTED, 2389 pages, 2001

New Songs? You Betcha!

2009-09-15T09:42:00.000-07:00

So we're gonna be rolling out some new material over the next couple of gigs, which will be fun - after so long working on the album it's strange and beautiful to write some new stuff!

Here's one, it's called "Not Waving But Capsizing"

Strung a turn too tight
Stretched far too thin
Gone a ways too far
Gone a touch too high
All the wrong things rising
Not waving but capsizing
All is silent, all is bright

I'm not made for this
I'm the crack in the wing
I'm afraid that this won't work
I'm a frayed high wire
An aeroplane stalling
Not flying but falling
All is silent, all is bright

I am cells gone wild
The enemy within
I’m not well at all
I’m a spell in quarantine
Bacteria invading
Multiplying, duplicating
All is silent, all is bright

The Life And Times Of Bikini Black Special

2009-09-15T08:13:00.000-07:00

So hi, yeah, we're Bikini Black Special. No, the other one. I'd even go as far as to say the good one. We deal in facts so here are some:

We're from Preston, which happens to be in the northwest of England.
There are five of us - Kim who sings, Paddy who plays guitar, mucks around with a computer, and "sings", Bobby who plays the drums, Jonti who plays a giant stack of keyboards, and Kev who makes pretty moving pictures, except when we play acoustic gigs when he interprets the songs in real time on a flip chart.
We combine rock, electro and drum n bass into a sound that people with no clue compare to Portishead.
We have made an album. It is called "The Grim Mathematics Of Intercourse" and you can both hear and buy it (if you wanna) at the other end of this clicky-link.
We rarely dance, but we like it when you do.
One of us used to be an altar boy.
One of us wishes he was an altar boy.
One is in unholy communion with a hoover.
One has a sandy vagina, and is endowed like a spartan.

Anyways, that's a bit of an intro, we'd love to hear from you, you can chum us up on facebook if you fancy it, then you'll know where we've got gigs, and when, and you can come and see us and shout cusswords right to our grubby unwashed little faces.